College-Style |
| Posted: 07 Aug 2011 09:10 AM PDT By: Lori of University of Georgia. Follow me @forestrobin37.
Biting the bullet and going random was one of the toughest decisions I’ve made in college. Terrified by visions of my psychotic, mouth-breathing roommate watching me Edward-Cullen-style as I slept (or worse) and by visions of my wild future roommate crashing in drunk every morning, I was filled with dread for the upcoming year. Contrary to my fears, my wonderful roommate and I ended up getting along very well and becoming close friends. As a success story in random roommates, which get a bad rep for roommate feuds, I can tell you how I not only survived a whole year, but actually became good friends with my roommate. The Thermostat
Believe it or not, my RA claimed that one of the biggest roommate disagreements that she's encountered has been over the thermostat. Thankfully, my roommate and I had similar body types, so we kept the room at a cozy 70 degrees. For those with differing body types, try to establish a comfortable medium or err to a cooler temperature. After all, it's a lot easier to bundle up and stay warm than to spontaneously make yourself cooler.
The Significant Other
My freshman year with my roommate was all ponies and rainbows until, dun dun dun, she got a boyfriend. I became pretty fond of him, but wasn't comfortable with him being there all the time. To solve this problem, absolutely always establish guidelines for people being in the room and staying over, before the year starts. I worked out a curfew with my roommate for how late people could stay, and any time we wanted to bend the rules, we asked each other's permission. Establish with your roommate beforehand when you need the room for private time with a boyfriend/girlfriend, but respect your roommate's need to use the room, too. Also, acknowledge that your roommate may not like your beau as much as you do, so opt to spend some time with your significant other out of the room. Differing SchedulesRoommates are bound to have different schedules for things like sleeping and studying. To skirt this issue, establish a quiet hour for studying. If your roommate needs a quiet environment, listen to your music in headphones and take phone calls/Skype sessions out of the room. Be respectful of your roommate's schedule, even if he/she is one of those that sleeps insanely early and wakes insanely early. Try to make as little noise as possible at morning and at night, when people are sleeping; if you work late, take your work out of the room and come back when you're ready to sleep. Otherwise, find a way to compromise. Sharing Supplies
Sharing is caring? Not so much. For the same reason that they tell you borrowing money from a friend can ruin a friendship and that true communism will never work, sharing items, particularly food, with your roommate can get old really fast. Heck, sharing a room with someone else gets old really fast, so to preserve your friendship, I council you not to try to share much more than that. I made the mistake this year of sharing food and water, utensils and expensive printer ink and toner with my roommate, and needless to say, it didn't always work well. No matter how close you were with your roommate before you began the year, unless you absolutely share resources equally and pay everything equally, which is incredibly tedious to do, someone's going to be either consuming more resources, paying more for them or buying supplies more often. Maybe you're very generous and you always play by "what's mine is yours." For everyone else, stick to sharing appliances and furniture. Also, try to respect your roommate's space (keep your things tidy) and private property. Always ask before borrowing something. Golden Rules of Good Roommate Relations
RESPECT. Find out what it means to you…and your roommate. Remember that what may be the best thing for you may not be the best option for your roommate. Don't always assume that you need to use the room for your business because it's not just about you. The best way to know that you're not bothering a roommate is just to ask his/her permission before you do something. Also, things that you want your roommate to respect, you should follow as well. I cannot stress this enough: being polite and being passive aggressive are two completely different things, even if they have the same intentions. A girl I know stayed in her friend's dorm for most of the time because she couldn't bear to hear her roommate talk non-stop about her sex life anymore. The simple solution here would have simply been to say something to her about how uncomfortable she felt. So, here is the most important key to forming a good relationship with your roommate: good communication. Just like any relationship, communicating well is absolutely paramount to keeping that warm and fuzzy feeling toward your roommate. It's hard, I know, but take courage. Also, not all communication is healthy communication. Two girls down the hall, after a screaming match, actually divided the room down the middle (Yes, really). Questions of logistics aside (Who got the sink? Who got the fridge??), a better solution to this dispute would be to step back from the situation, calm down and try to explain your position. Remember that requesting a room change should be your last option. Try following these tips and see if you can build a good relationship with your roommate before requesting a different room. Thoughts?Have any roommate experiences that you’d like to share with us? Did you like our tips on solving roommate disputes? Have any of your own? Comment away! We’d love to get some feedback from you. |
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